Quantified CoolJohn Maynard Keynes, 1944
Quantified Cool, is a non-existent book not-written in 1944 and attributed to renowned economist John Maynard Keynes by the author of the present blog; any quote claimed to have been contained therein is, by definition, not-written by John Maynard Keynes, and was drafted purely for the purposes of satire, parody, humiliation, cruelty, and the scientific mockery of economists, and of humanity as a whole.
You should probably have figured out that it was not, in fact, written by John Maynard Keynes, because that would be ridiculous: John Maynard Keynes had notoriously terrible taste in music and was an unabashed fan of Andy Williams. As such, John Maynard Keynes would not have been able to construct a reliable method for the quantification of cool as he was, in point of fact, a total dork. That may be why he became an economist.
Simply put, I made it up. It is funny because it sounds like something one might think John Maynard Keynes (or any comparable dead economist) may have written. But John Maynard Keynes, in fact, did not write it. I know this because I wrote it. Recently (i.e. not in 1944).fivesinatras, 2019